I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
