i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
