On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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