Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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