How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
