you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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