Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
