I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
