If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
