you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize