dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
