you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
