Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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