How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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