dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
