it was like his penis was on wheels.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
