Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
