I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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