As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
