All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
