Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
