I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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