i think my tv is drunk
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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