Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
