I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
