Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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