I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
