I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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