do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
