She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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