tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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