I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
