filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize