I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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