Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
