Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize