Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
