so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
