I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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