Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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