On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
