If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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