Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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