Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just cropdusted the office
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
