I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
