I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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