I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
