it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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