i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
handjob tips. give me some.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
