I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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