Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
