I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
