Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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