I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
