he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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