If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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