singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
