I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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