; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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