Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
