We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
