thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
