i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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