just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
