There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
