Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please

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(214): View more from Texas

For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.

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(443): View more from Maryland

When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?

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