It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
